The Dirty Wedding Planning Secret No One Tells You About

You’re engaged! You couldn’t be more excited! Your life is as though you have just stepped into your very own rom-com movie and you are the star!

But this glow is subsiding quickly.

Suddenly stressful questions such as:

“Who to invite? Who not to invite?”

“Who to ask to be in your wedding party?”

“It costs how much to rent that hotel ballroom?!”

You’re starting to think there is something wrong with you. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. Why am I so miserable?

Before you do anything rash, I have a secret to share with you:

Planning your wedding is a wild and crazy emotional rollercoaster filled with incredible highs and some difficult lows – for everyone.

Everything you are feeling is VERY normal and you’re not alone.

Most brides experience all of these worries – and more.

However, this post does have a happy ending.

The good news is there are many strategies to combat these wedding planning stresses.

Here are a few strategies I hope will help you.

1 – Nurture yourself. Even though you’re experiencing (at times) pure joy and elation with all that is happening in your life, planning a wedding is emotional and stressful. Remember to take time to pamper and nurture yourself when you can. This means maintaining your normal exercise routine. Eat a healthy, clean diet. Not the Demi Moore-raw foods only diet. Eat a healthy diet you can maintain. Be sure to keep up with your regular hair styling appointments, mani/pedis, etc. Also, make time for meditation or peaceful “you-time” every day. You must take care of yourself so you can handle when your bridesmaids complain about the bridesmaids dress you chose or when your mother-in-law-to-be says a mildly, passive aggressive comment about the catering menu you selected. If you’re centered and taking care of yourself, these little wedding hiccups will not be nearly as bothersome.

2 – Keep it all in perspective. Remember your wedding is just the first day of the rest of your life. It’s not your life. Your wedding will be a special life changing experience you will always remember. But keep in mind, the good stuff is what happens after the wedding. You’re about to spend the rest of your life with your best friend! Imagine how wonderful experiencing all of life’s adventures will be with this person. Think of all you will do together. Keep these happy thoughts in mind throughout your engagement. Go to these happy places when not so happy things arise.

3 – Don’t sweat the details. I know you love the personalized guest favor idea you saw on Pinterest. (You know the one that requires you to personally handwrite your favorite quote on 120 favor bags?) Unfortunately, your guests won’t remember these details. They may remember the general look of the your table centerpieces and they might actually take the guest favor home with them. But, I guarantee within one day of your wedding, these details will fade from their memories forever. Therefore, do NOT stress about these cosmetic details. Instead, focus on the details that will add to the overall feeling and experience for you and your guests. Invest your time and energy into selecting readings and songs in the ceremony that are meaningful to you. Select delicious food you love. Find ways to engage your wedding guests in the overall wedding experience (e.g. ice breakers at the wedding reception tables, polaroid cameras at each table, surprise late-night guest gift give-away, etc.) Take the time to find personalized gifts for your fiancée, parents and wedding party and include personalized notes with each one. Focus your time and money on tasks that enhance the overall wedding experience for you and your guests.

4 – Make your wedding zone drama free. Because planning a wedding is an emotionally charged activity for everyone involved – not just the bride and groom – it is important to be cognizant of what kind of company you keep. Be sure to surround yourself with drama free people. I know this can be easier said than done. Especially when your drama queen mother insists on inserting her ideas and opinions at every turn. It might be hard to remove these energy vampires from your inner wedding circle. Therefore, if you find yourself surrounded by less than peaceful individuals, it’s extremely important you find time to ALSO surround yourself with more accepting, calm, loving individuals – even if they’re not involved with the wedding. Their positive energy will naturally seep into your subconscious and help you stave off the passive aggressive judgments of the other inner wedding circle folk.

5 – If a drama queen is a must, don’t take it personally. Understand, most of the time when someone is being a bit of a judgmental downer, her comments are rooted in her own personal issues. Maybe the reason your maid of honor (AKA your older sister) can’t seem to stop comparing her wedding to yours is because she has regrets about her wedding. Maybe she wishes she were in your shoes and could “redo” her wedding experience. Remember, when someone is bringing drama into your wedding world, try to get to the root of the issue and unpack it. 9 times out of 10 – it has nothing to do with you or your wedding.

I hope these suggestions help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of planning your wedding!

Action Steps:

Do you resonate with this topic? If so, what struggles are you experiencing in planning your wedding right now?

What next steps are you going to change to relieve your stress around planning your wedding?