Choosing an officiant for your wedding can be a tricky decision. So many couples want to ask a friend or family member to marry them. However, just because a friend or family member is beloved – and may seem to have good public speaking skills – does not mean he/she will be a good officiant for your wedding! 

Therefore, many couples turn to a professional to do the job. If you fall into this category, here is the process I suggest you take when searching for the right officiant for your wedding.

1. Define Your Ceremony Style

Before seeking an officiant, decide on the type of ceremony you envision. Do you want your ceremony to be traditional and formal? Or would you prefer something a little more casual and modern? There are no wrong answers here, it is just what feels good to you. 

Here are a few typical categories for ceremony styles. Which one resonates the most with you?

Religious

This style incorporates specific religious prayers and rituals. If you fall into this category, this is a great time to incorporate any personal favorite unity rituals your faith offers. You might even consider incorporating family traditions that have been done at family weddings in the past.

Non Religious

This style on personalized readings and vows without religious content. Maybe you incorporate your favorite poems, movie quotes or even personalized songs. Also consider creative unity ceremonies: sand pouring, hand fasting, rope tying, rock stacking, tree planting are all fun ideas I have seen over the years. 

Interfaith

This style combines elements from different religious traditions. Some of my favorite wedding ceremonies have been interfaith combos. Couples have often had leaders from both faiths (e.g. a pastor and a rabbi) jointly conduct the ceremony and perform rituals from both faiths. It is always really fun to see the faiths intertwine in this way – and deeper embodies the notion of two people joining their lives together.  

Cultural

This style features specific cultural or traditional elements important to you. Consider any family traditions you might want to include. This is a wonderful way to acknowledge your family heritage and personalize your wedding.

2. Set Your Date and Venue

I know this seems obvious, but it is sometimes overlooked. Confirm your wedding date and location, as your officiant needs to be available on that specific day and willing to travel to your venue.

3. Seek Recommendations

Word of mouth is exceptionally powerful in this vendor category. Ask for recommendations from friends, family, recently married couples, or wedding planners. Personal referrals can provide insights into potential officiants’ styles and personalities.

4. Conduct Interviews

As with almost all your vendor interviews, they are often a personality content. Who do you vibe with the best? This is especially true when interviewing your wedding officiant. You want the “know, like and trust” factor to be high. In addition to getting to know their personality, here are a few other key topics to consider.

• Experience: Ask about their experience officiating weddings similar to yours in style and size.
• Approach: Discuss their approach to writing and conducting ceremonies. Do they personalize each ceremony with your story or do they use more of a standard generic approach?
• Flexibility: Determine if they are open to incorporating any specific traditions or readings you might want.

Next, here are a few questions to ask when searching for the right officiant for your wedding.

Questions to Ask Your Officiant

• What is your philosophy of the marriage ceremony?
• What emotion/message do you try to convey during the ceremony?
• Do you provide guidance for us to design their own ceremony or is it completely up to us?
• Will you personalize the ceremony to reflect us as a couple? If so, how?
• How do you feel about including (or not including) religious components in the ceremony. Do you feel it is a requirement or is it our decision?
• Will you attends the rehearsal for the ceremony the day before? (Note: Most professional officiants don’t attend the rehearsal).
• Do you recommend and pre-marital guidance. If so what program do you recommend?

5. Review Samples

Request samples of their past ceremonies or scripts to get a sense of their style and delivery. Some officiants might provide video clips, which can be even more enlightening.

6. Discuss Customization

In my opinion, the best wedding officiants customize all their weddings (to some degree.) Ensure the officiant is willing to personalize the ceremony to reflect your story and values. Discuss options for personalized vows, special readings, or involving friends and family in the ceremony.

7. Talk About Fees

Clarify the officiant’s fees and what is included in the package. Ask about additional charges for travel, rehearsal attendance, or customization.

8. Trust Your Instincts

Consider how comfortable you feel with the officiant. As I mentioned above, the main factor in choosing the right wedding officiant for your wedding is that you like them. They will play a significant role in your day, so ensure their presence feels right for you and your partner.

9. Finalize the Details

Once you’ve decided, confirm all details in writing, including ceremony date, venue, fees, and any personal elements you’ve discussed. This ensures clarity and peace of mind for all parties involved.

Final Thoughts

Your officiant should be your guide to designing a ceremony that represents who you are as a couple. Be sure you and your officiant are in alignment with your overall philosophy on marriage – and you enjoy their company! If you can find common ground in your philosophies, you are well on your way to creating a memorable ceremony for you and your guests.

I hope this guide helps you find the perfect officiant for your special day!

All my best,

Casey

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Casey Green Weddings, LLC

2051 S Village Drive, Cottonwood, AZ 86326 hello@caseygreenweddings.com